Cupra Formentor VZN is a peri-peri hot SUV that’s fast, nicely balanced & packed with tech – but it does have downsides

WE all get a bit confused with names.

Whether it’s our own flesh and blood or what’s-her-face from HR, we all have the odd brain fart and get things muddled up.

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So what hope have we got when Crossover A is just like Crossover B, C, D and E?

Cupra isn’t helping by refusing to put names on its motors.

Not on the boot.

Not on the door plates.

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Not anywhere.

It’s a deliberate move to get the Cupra brand recognised rather than, say, Ibiza being better known than Seat.

And it’s working.

Cupra’s star is rising and sales are rocketing.

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Partly because Cupras are reliable — they use proven VW parts — but mostly because Cupras look cool and individual.

Like the one outside my front door.

It’s called Formentor. I know this because it says so in the service book — and then I double-checked on the online configurator.

It’s built for entertainment

The base car is £31k and uses the same 150hp 1.5-litre turbo petrol as a Golf. There’s a 245hp plug-in hybrid, from the Golf GTE. And a 245hp 2-litre turbo petrol, from the Golf GTI.

You’d be happy with any of them.

The one you really want, however, is the peri-peri hot Formentor VZN.

Essentially it’s an overgrown Golf R, or a T-Roc R, rolled in Cupra’s special sauce.

That means a stonking 310 horses, 4WD, adaptive dampers and slick seven-speed paddle-shift auto.

It’s fast and sticky, nicely balanced, loves a B-road, sounds great in Cupra mode. OK, I’ll say it . . . Porsche Macan fun for a lot less moolah.

But it’s thirsty. Like, 27mpg thirsty.

The woman at the fuel station will think you fancy her.

But that’s fine. This car is built for entertainment not economy. And she’s lovely.

You’ll also like the cabin. Lots of tech, lots of luxury and beautifully executed with copper detailing to match that “Space Invaders” Cupra logo.

We also like the Audi Sport steering wheel with drive mode selector on the left and starter button on the right.

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And you sit nice and low in this car, which is unusual for an SUV.

The central touchscreen is sharp and fast but is tasked with too many things to do.

We want a simple knob for air-con fan speed, please, it shouldn’t be hidden in a sub-menu.

At night, the wrap-round LED strip gives the place a cocktail bar vibe. Where you’re the DJ.

In Cupra mode, it doubles as a giant rev counter. The red bar widens when you accelerate, then falls away when you lift off.

The kids loved the added theatre — and they’re the PlayStation generation Cupra needs to attract in the future.

Cupra will also sell you an electric car called Born, a nippy, menacing hot hatch with a boost button. We liked that too.

Both cars have zero per cent finance deals right now.

Next year we’ll see Tavascan, a 340hp electric SUV coupe, followed by a dinky crossover called Raval in 2025.

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You’ll have to trust me on that because they won’t have names on them.

• ACTUALLY, I did find Formentor written on the car — but it’s hidden in the tail light cluster for some unknown reason.

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